I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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