What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
