It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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