I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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