Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
