you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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