I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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