she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
50% drunk capacity currently
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
