Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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