Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
His nipple licking is glorious
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