therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize