I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
