Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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