sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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