When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize