I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
