Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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