Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
