I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
