I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My cat gives me a boner
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
