I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
