At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
