I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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