apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
