OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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