Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
