Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
