So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
