the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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