I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
