This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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