I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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