She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
