I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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