I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
