i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
