his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
