You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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