No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
