Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
