I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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