Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
