bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
