I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
