what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
