it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
