It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
