Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
