hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its not stalking. its research.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
