are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
