I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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