I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can't turn off my feet"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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