4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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